Thursday, July 14, 2011

I can't get pregnant. right?

It all started about 3 years ago, shortly after Jeremy and I got married. We decided we wanted a baby. We knew this was going to be hard because I was told when I was 16 that I would never be able to have kids. I have PCOS- polycystic ovarian syndrome and I have had several ruptured cysts ( which unbelievably the pain is ALOT worse than childbirth). So, to the doctor we go. He puts me on Clomid - a pill form of fertility drug. I take the pill like I am supposed to and have sex on the days I am supposed to for almost 6 months. Nothing. No baby. I gave up. I told myself it was never going to happen and I was just going to have to deal with the fact that I would never be a mommy. I was brokenhearted. All I had ever wanted since I was a little girl was to have 2 kids- a boy and a girl in that order- and my dreams had been crushed. Why? Why was this happening to me?

I decided since I couldn't get pregnant that I didn't need to take birth control. So Jeremy and I went on with life as usual. Last year for 4th of July, Jeremy went to the Nascar race in Daytona, Florida with a co-worker. I stayed home to work, since we couldn't afford for us both to be off for an entire week plus the cost of the trip. During that week, Pam and I hung out and she looked over at me and said "Are you pregnant? you have that glow about you."  I thought nothing of it because of course I couldn't be pregnant, right? About 1 week after Jeremy got home, one morning my grandma tells me " I had a dream last night you were pregnant."  Again, I thought- I couldn't be. I didn't think anything else of it and I went off to work. At work that same day, a co-worker says to me " I had a dream last night you were pregnant." my mind went crazy... what?!?! two people. same night. same dream. don't know each other. how could this be? maybe I really am pregnant. Don't get your hopes up. It couldn't be.  That night after work, I stopped and got a 2 pack of pregnancy tests. The first one= positive. Couldn't be. I had to have done it wrong. The second one= positive. Couldn't be. It can't be. So I go to Wal-mart and get 2 more 2 packs of tests. The third and fourth and fifth and sixth= positive.  I still wasn't convinced. I bought another test. test #7= positive. no way. I can't get pregnant-right? wrong!...I scheduled an appointment to have a pregnancy test done professionally and it wasn't until my 8th pregnancy test that I was finally convinced that I was pregnant.

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